When my mother accepted the Lord I
began attending church with her. I was eight when I indicated a decision
for Christ, but it was really just so that I could be like the other kids
there. I learned about Jesus, but didn't have a relationship with Him.
It was more about trying to be good. It was all pretty discouraging
because I would always mess up.
Growing up I remember wanting to read
my Bible, but I couldn't understand it. I was too proud to ask someone
to help me. But I did gain from listening in church. As I got older it was
more following the flow of friends. After I graduated from high school, I
would still go to church with my parents in Prince Albert (SK), but just
on special occasions. I knew what sin was. My parents had previously been
alcoholics. I remembered the parties, and I thought that someday when I
had kids, this wasn't a lifestyle I wanted for them.
Even though I didn't party, I took a
partner who did. I stayed home and was a mother to our kids. My partner
and I would go to church sometimes, but alcohol kept drawing him back. The
Lord continued to work in my life even though I wasn't following Him. He
showed Himself to me in so many ways, even difficult ones. We had a son
who was born three and-a-half months premature. I saw him go through seven
surgeries, and each time they told me he probably wouldn't make it. He
was with us for only five months. It was very difficult and, though it was
a loss, I still think of his little life as a gift from God.
Later my partner and I broke up. I
moved to Saskatoon and started going to church, and trying again to
understand my Bible. Four years after our separation, my partner was
diagnosed with cancer and passed away. It was very hard telling my kids
that their dad was dying. I knew God was in control. I knew the answers
were in God's Word. That's what brought me to Bible school after
recommitting my life to Christ.
I knew about KBI from attending a youth
retreat as a teen. Three years ago I moved here with my three kids. There
have been some tough times even here. Job 42:5 is special to me. It says,
"My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you." My
life was more of a puzzle before. Now I've gained some understanding of
His Word and about the things I've been through.
I'm more open to talking about what I've gone
through. Because of my relationship with God, I can go through it and help
my kids go through it. I have a burden to go home and to live Christ in
front of people. I look forward to being able to share what God has done
in my life. Being here helped with my family, too. I'm now more united
with my children and see the rewards in their lives, too. I recommend KBI,
but I've found that you still have to be willing to let go of things.
The Lord will work as much as you allow Him.
